So here’s where I’m going with this.
I’ve been stuck in a major rut for probably close to a year now. Alright, okay, let me be honest. It’s probably been closer to five whole years. I’ve had some on and off periods of time when life didn’t seem to suck quite so much, but they’ve been so few and far between that they are dull in comparison to the pile of suck that I feel nearly ever day.
I downloaded an app recently called Mr Mood, which sends me a reminder every day to pick what kind of mood I am in. It has 5 levels, each representing as a face that is frowning, smiling, happy, sad, etc. Each day you open the app and pick which one represents your current mood. Over the course of almost a month I’ve had 13 so-so picks, 3 days one step down from that, and 1 day the very lowest step (granted, that was the day my grandfather passed away), and only 7 days where I was fine or happy. It’s pretty revolutionizing for me to not only already know I haven’t been great, but to be able to actually look back and SEE that I haven’t been great.
When I was in high school more than 5 years ago, I wrote almost every day in tattered notebooks that I carried everywhere. I was easily reading 2-3 books a week.
And today, I probably find the energy to write every 2 to 3 weeks. Usually a lot less often than that. And I have not read more than 10 pages in a book all year. It’s September, and that is outrageous for me.
Writing used to be my life. And now, it has become a hobby.
And I’m really fracking done with that mentality. It’s time to get my ass in gear. (Did I really just say “fracking” then turn around and use “ass” blatantly? Yes I did.)
My new goals (short term):
- Write once a week, preferably more.
- Must write:
- one or more blog posts
- 250 or more words in my novel
- 250 or more words in a story for my blog or Channillo
- Find a way to still have writing energy after my work day
My new goals (long term):
- Build a blog following.
- Write a short novella or e-book.
- Finish my damn manuscript!
I hope you’ll join me on this adventure. I think you’ll like it. ‘Til next time,